I am a polyamorous, kinky, heteroflexible, cis female. I am married to a monogamous cis male, Nic. We have been together for over a decade and married for five. Since 2011-ish we have been opening our marriage. In 2012 I had my first poly relationship, with a bisexual cis male called James, for about six months.

This blog started as a way for me to manage my kinky feelings and polyamorous explorations but it has become a way to explore the burgeoning kinkyness of my husband. He has been very vanilla for the duration of our marriage, but in the last few months of 2012 this started changing. It is incredibly exciting!

Call my blog a journal. Call it a beginner’s guide. Call it a self-help guide. Call it what you want. Me? I'm just sending things into the ether as a way to clarify my thoughts. In doing so I have found a wonderful community of readers and fellow bloggers who have helped me focus my thoughts and accept myself and my husband for who we are. I hope you find something in this blog to entertain, challenge, and excite you.

Nic and James have both given permission for me to write this blog and Nic has even become an enthusiastic photographer! If you think you have been discussed without being asked, please let me know and I'll fix it.

All names have been changed.
You can contact me on Twitter @polyvanilla
Or email polykink@gmail.com

Everything on this blog is my own copyright. If you want to use any of the pictures or posts please ask me first. Thank you!

PS, in the unlikely event you want to use my button, here it is:
I Like Chocolate, He Likes Vanilla


  1. Hi Emily, how can I contact you? Do you have an email address? Thanks, Harriet

    1. whoops, I totally forgot to add contact details ... clearly not the brightest polykink@gmail.com