Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Why No Sex? I Want Sex!

I’ve been silent for weeks now, not only metaphorically with my blog voice, but also literally with my sex voice. Hubby came home from his fortnight away two weeks ago. Surely, when he came home we had lots of sex, right? Wrong. We had bugger all.

Two and more years ago I would have sulked and moaned and eventually shouted at him, or possibly cried silently into my pillow (I did that most of all). I would have believed it was all his fault and that I was being punished for having led a full sex life before meeting him. Now I am wiser.

We didn’t have sex for lots of reasons, and you know what? Not hubby’s fault!

Blood, so, I have a fetish for blood-play. But, that does not stretch to menstrual blood. To have sex during my period I have to plan it. I have to put down towels and have condoms and all sorts of things. When Nic came back from his trip, I had just started menstruating (four days early, BOOOOO!). Nic never propositions me when I am on my period. I used to blame him for this, but now I see it is because I have issues and he is being kind.

Work, it was insane. I’m not talking 9-5, or even the 9-8 scary business folk often do. No, I’ve been work between 12 and 16 hours a day, 7 days a week for the last month. It has been the brainchild of Satan’s petulant youngest child, trying to show off to daddy. Seriously, it has been that bad. How could I blame hubby on that? Once I would have.

Sickness, hubby had a cold. When I have a cold I get insanely horny. I used to blame hubby for not feeling horny when he was sick. How is that fair?

When sex is bad, everything becomes clouded in that. It is impossible to separate logic and reason from feelings of pain and anxiety. I wanted sex, I never got sex, and a cycle of misery and recriminations developed. Thankfully things are changing, and because Nic and I have been building our sexual bridges (and, oh, what magnificent bridges they are), it has been easier for me to look at my negative thoughts calmly and to recreate them in positive ways. Now I see this period of two weeks abstinence as a chance to explore how far we have come. I’m moaning about two weeks? It wasn’t so very long ago we didn’t have sex for two years!

Hubby was away again this weekend. Monday he came home and Monday night, he discovered new things.
He made me lie on my front, with my bum lifted in the air a little. He spanked it, he bit it (damned hard I might add! Bite bruises!), and he shoved a butt plug up my arse. He also decided, for reasons I can’t fathom, to spank my cunt with the back of his hand. I could hear him wanking above me as he was slapping me. It felt amazing and, of course, I orgasmed like that. The whole time I was wearing my very unsexy red pajama top (it is freezing in my world). When he told me that he was going to come over my back I asked him if I should get naked. He very forcefully said “No!”  His juices shot all the way along my back and into my hair.

Have a strange photo of a streak of my husband's orgasm from my bum to to neck, with just a tiny hint of one of the bite marks. Cheekily cropped as always, nothing too saucy to see on this blog.

This post met the prompt #want for Wicked Wednesday. Please take a look to find a whole range of real life stories, philosophy, sex ed, photos, and all kinds of erotic goodies.


  1. Such a tease with that photo! Seriously though, it sounds like a very challenging few weeks - it's good that you're able to recognise the negative thoughts and work through them :)

    xx Dee

  2. Oh, I understand oh to well. I am with you!!

  3. Cheekily cropped indeed :D
    Glad you were able to work things through!

    ~Kazi xxx

  4. I think one of the most valuable things that Sir has taught me to wait and be patient and to trust in that time. I have a tendency to WANT now and to blame my not getting it on myself or others.... he has showed me a different way and it has been so very instrumental in me finding a level of happiness in my life that I didn't know was possible.


  5. I have been there! Life happens and sometimes instead of seing that, I act like a spoiled brat. I am glad you had a very happy ending! Thanks for the little peek of your fun!!

  6. I am so happy to see you back and to see that things in your world are all good. I recognize the feelings of anger if you don't get what you want and think you need. Master T. has taught me to be patient. I still falter at times, but I calm down more easily than I ever did.

    Love the teasing photo ;)

    Rebel xox

  7. It's a great photo crop, and a highly relatable story...

    I appreciate the Want, and am glad for your Got.

  8. It is so empowering to hear the words "when sex is bad everything becomes clouded in that". I sometimes wonder if I am the only person in the world who gets trapped in that mentality.

  9. It is easy to get caught up in those daily obligations and having the sex life lax. It is true though, that when the sex isn't working other things follow suit. Glad you are getting past some of those issues. Seems like your hubby is too.

  10. Oh I so related to this post!!! Glad to see you back!!!

    ~Mia~ xx