Wednesday 3 April 2013

Advice Sought: Blog, What Blog?

In my offline life I am becomingly increasingly open about sex and sexuality. I have started to discuss things with people far more than I used to. In a couple of months I am even presenting at a queer festival. What I won't be doing is sharing this blog.

This blog is my private haven, private being somewhat oxymoronic, of course. I write it for my own purposes. I started it like a sort of journal, but I like it because of the community feel and the life-affirming comments and discussion. I feel bad when I don't get to write for it. I feel like I am disconnected from my own thought processes, my personal reflection, my sexual meditation, even my sexual experimentation. Having this blog helps me to push my relationship/s sexually in more ways than I expected - perhaps because hubby also reacts positively to what I write and the comments I receive. When I don't get to write on my blog I also feel disconnected from the community, and that it will just disappear and I will be left without one again. It is a worrying thought, especially after I missed the big social opportunity of Eroticon due to my bereavement.

It is not always easy for me to write on my blog though. I access the blog on my laptop, but it is on a separate login and locked off from access to/from the other four (yes, four) accounts I have set up. The account is my sexuality, relationship, polyamory, BDSM login, where I keep my photos, pornography and such like. It isn't something I can open when I am with people other than hubby.

So, I have two questions for the hivemind:

1) How do you write your blog and keep it going when you are very busy with work and life gets in the way?

2) How do you write your blog when you have company? When people are staying at your house or you are staying with other people?

Anything?


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This post was written for Wicked Wednesday, clickety click for other stories, photos, poems, discussions and more.

16 comments:

  1. Hi,
    glad to hear your back blogging but I'm sorry for your loss, hope you/your hubby are okay.

    I guess how to keep your blog when you are busy/have company depends on how you write - if you need time with your computer to think and structure thoughts it could be quite hard, but if you can keep your train of thought a few sentences at a time you could try a cloud system like evernote for the writing then copy into your blog (hopefully with pictures ;-) ) when complete. This would let you write from your phone, laptop, whatever and securely log in/out on different accounts. Also if you just do this with text it's easier to do in public as sexy words don't catch the eye as sexy pics do (example I'm reading your blog on my phone in the break room at work).

    Also if you ever need to blog about non-poly/kink stuff I'm sure your regulars wouldn't mind if it helps you work through something.

    @dxt3_r

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    1. That is a good idea. Or just an old-fashioned paper notebook even. I carry one with me everywhere to use for work brainstorming. It never occurred to me to use it for blog writing. I have been so fixed on using only the one place to write things down, I didn't think of any other options.

      Sometimes we just need a shove in the obvious direction. Thank you!

      Delete
  2. I share my blog with my sister, so when I am unable (say on vacation) she picks up the slack and vice versa. Also, we have several posts on drafts in case we go through a dry spell when posting just isn't going to happen otherwise. I will often write in front of others, just in a word document, and then copy over. Seemingly harmless that way. I am often challenged by others being around, but when I can, and am inspired, I write and write and write and then save for when I need to post.

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    1. Inspiration happens all the time. I am just so worried about getting caught. At Christmas I wrote when my in-laws and father were around but they kept coming up and trying to sneak a peek at what I was spending time on the computer for. It kind of put me off doing the same during the recent difficulties.

      I like the paper notebook idea - nobody, but nobody can read my writing even if they do manage to steal the notebook. :D

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  3. Live writer. It allows me to simply write and upload and no one has to know what I am uploading to. I know what you mean though this is like your sacred place as mine is. I like the community I associate with and usually talk to more to my kink friends on twitter than I do my 'mommy blogger' friends

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    1. Yes, it is a different sense of a community. I am part of others - both online and in person - but this one feels closer to the soul somehow.

      Delete
  4. I can work on my blog even when I have the kids around and I sometimes even work on it when I am at my work. The kids cannot see my screen when I work on my laptop (on the couch) but even if they do, they will only see the screen of Scrivener, which I use at home. At work I use Google Drive to work on documents. I write an awful lot and have post scheduled for about four weeks ahead. When live happens, those post will just post as normal. If something happens that I want on the blog right away, I reschedule the post that was already there for the day. I use Excel to do my blog planning.

    Also, kids and mom know that I have a sex blog, so when I am writing they know what the subject is, but won't look on my screen. If mom and my oldest daughter are here to visit, the laptop stays shut.

    I do like your idea of another account though, because sometimes when mom or daughter is here we want to check something on the laptop and then many times I am logged in on my only account, which is kinky. I think it's a great idea to put a vanilla account on here! Or I might do it when I get my new laptop. Thanks for the tip :)

    Rebel xox

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    1. oh my gosh! I knew you were organised, but I had no idea. I don't think I could be that regimented about my blog. It is sensible, but would feel too much like work then.

      It does seem like the lesson though, is to just keep writing when the mood takes, in whatever way possible and then store up posts for difficult times.

      I should do that.

      Delete
  5. What a great question. I'm so glad to see a discussion of this kind. My blog account is separate. I, too, have four different accounts. My privacy was and is a concern. My husband, of course, has approved and reads my entries after they publish, for his own enjoyment, or consternation. We have very little company, preferring instead to visit others, and no small children. No children at home at all, in fact. So writing privacy is not an issue. I write when the words come. Not every day. Some days the well is dry. I do understand the concept that if I prime the pump, so to speak, by writing daily, the words will flow more often. But real life gets in the way sometimes. Increasingly, I have begun to share either overtly or by hints, that I blog, and provide pathways such as links to Wicked Wednesday, or e[Lust], with others on facebook. People that I have known for a long time. My daughter asked if I wanted to begin blogging, and I laughed and said yes, I was starting. We were always open with each other about basic sexual matters, so she blushed and I imagine she "gets it." Hope she never reads it. lmao... I have become more and more accepting of my own sexuality and sexual drive through this community. I want people to know how I feel about sex. It's a wonderful thing. If they can see that it's okay to enjoy yourself, in different ways, including writing about sex, through this medium, then I want to unlock the door. I'm also glad to see the different writing tools mentioned, I use Google myself. Hugs and Kisses. Missy

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    1. I love this reply! I don't have much to say about it, but it is nice to have my own thoughts and feeling reinforced. Thank you.

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  6. We have separate computers - I have a laptop and a netbook (plus a tablet which i won last week), my wife has laptop and netbook, and both the kids have netbooks each! :)

    Keeps it physically separate!

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    1. Would be awesome, but even harder to post when with others.

      Delete
  7. I am lucky that writing is my main occupation and so my blog sits nicely alongside that and it also means I work from home, again giving me huge freedom in that regard.

    All my friends know what I do for a living and also about my blog so I never have a need to hide it. As for the kids, sometimes I have to be careful what I am viewing or if I am editing my images but unless they are actually sitting next to me it is not possible for them to pass behind me when I work and so it is not a huge problem. They both know I write and they have both asked me about my blog and I have given them age appropriate answers. As they get older more explaining will be necessary but I won't hide. I hid for too long and I shall hide again.

    Mollyxxx

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  8. I write when the mood takes me (fortunately this is most of the time because I am a writing slut). When I am not in the mood I find that if I write it is lacklustre. I usually have several projects on the go at any one time so I can flit from one to the other. I am one of life's fortunate people who can finish projects as I suspect that many people would leave projects undone.

    Do I hide my writing? I am or try to be discrete. I am not really keen for anyone from work to read my blog but my whole extended family do, which can often feel like over sharing if I think about it too much (chuckling).

    Rachel x

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  9. I am very compartmentalised and have several accounts as well. My writing (and picture taking) gets done at odd moments, whenever I can pull together the scraps of time. Memes are usually fairly easy to do; the posts that take thought are harder but if something is on my mind I do try to make sure I can get it down and published as the reason I have Dragon's Kink is to process my journey and feelings about it. I take advantage of the fact that posts can be scheduled ahead of time, and try to "bank up" whenever possible, though there are weeks when I might only post once or twice.

    ~Kazi xxx

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  10. Thank you for sharing. I am very fortunate in the face I can write 24/7 whit no worries who sees what. I am not sure how to help with the questions but I know the others probably have some great ideas.

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