Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Anal Sex and Boundaries

I love my arse being filled by cock, by toys, by vegetables, by fingers, by random household objects … pretty much anything really. I love it so much I have discovered I can put my eight fingers into my arsehole at the same time. The only thing stopping them going in further is my lack of contortion abilities. There are many times I would rather have anal sex than vaginal sex. I rarely masturbate without shoving something up my butthole.

None of this is considered strange in the kinky world, not that all kinksters like arseplay, but it is accepted as fairly normal.

So is rimming. I like tongue up my arse. I like to put my tongue in arseholes.

You know what else I like? Filth. Yep. I admit it. One of the sexiest things my most recent Dom made me do was fuck myself with a carrot and eat the carrot, complete with whatever was stuck to it at the time. As any of you who’ve had anal sex can attest, cocks and toys tend to come out mostly clean…but that “mostly” rather than “totally” is enough to put many (most?) folk off eating the carrot. Or sucking their partner’s cock. Or licking their fingers.

Then there are those folk who don’t like anal play at all. My husband is one of these. As this blog makes clear, my hubby is not a sexually liberated chappy. He is wonderful and lovely and a truly awesome bloke, but he struggles with sex. He is ok with me being kinky, but he wants very little of it. Recently though, he has been experimenting more. He has given me a gentle spanking a couple of times. He has fucked me with the end of a spoon while I sat in the kitchen counter. He even tied me up. It is amazingly hot having someone choose to break their own boundaries and enjoy it. I can understand why some Doms get their kicks breaking in newbies. The years of bad sex were worth living through for the excitement I felt when he discovered his boundaries were flexible. The one fairly basic thing (is anal vanilla?) he won’t budge on, is putting any part of his body near my arsehole (or vice versa). He just isn’t into it. It is hard having one of your favorite things in the sexual world being denied you.

I often wonder how much my kinky desires and my polyamory are connected. I have often wondered whether I am not really polyamorous, just in need of kinky sex. Then I remember I just cannot have sex with people I don’t know well, I don’t trust, and don’t care deeply for. The BDSM/kinky scene just isn’t for me. But, there is always hope I can find a poly partner who will do the things to me that I crave, and who hubby will be happy for him to do those things to me. And, besides, just because hubby won’t fuck my arse with his cock, it doesn’t mean he won’t fuck it with a toy…it took him ten years to do, but he loves to do it now! Maybe in another ten he might let his finger go there. Keep those pubes crossed for me.


  1. Yes, I know what it's like to have a kink -- a very deep, ingrained kink -- denied. For 7 years I begged my girlfriend-turned-wife (now ex-wife) for her to play with my ass. Sometimes I was at the point of tears begging for it while she was sucking me. It's an awkward thing, crying out of need while having another need met.

    In the end, she turned asexual. She didn't need me anymore, but wouldn't let me find anybody else. She threatened bodily harm if I tried. In true depressed victim fashion, I shouldered her abuse for 2 years, nearly 3, before working up the courage to leave.

    I was luck the second time around in finding Mrs. AP who, like your husband, is willing to push limits, find new ones, and allows me to explore all my facets safely and comfortably. Good on you, dear. Good on you.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

    1. Oh, your experiences sound heartbreaking. Deep, ingrained kinks are a need many don't understand - or even try to understand. I too have been desperate at times. The times i've been having vaginal sex and having to fight back the screams and tantrums and tears and anger just because his cock was in the "wrong" hole. Sometimes I didn't manage to hold back. I'm very grateful my husband was so patient with me, and tolerant. And I'm glad I've been patient with him. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you, to be with someone who didn't accept you for you.

      Congrats with Mrs AP! It sounds like a rewarding and deep relationship.