Apparently, waiting before you have sex with someone is good for the longevity of a relationship. For me, at least, this is true. The husband and I deliberately waited for our STD tests to come back clear so our first time could be bareback. By the time we had sex I already wanted to marry him. Had we hit the sack as quickly as I did with all my other relationships we would have been over before we begun.
are a highly sexual person, life with a mismatched sexual partner is horrific.
Plain and simple. I like kinks. He is vanilla. I have an insanely high sex
drive (at my peak I was fucking three times a day every day… not healthy I
suspect). He had virtually none. At one point we went without sex for two
six years of struggling through together, we went to a sex therapist … maybe 15
times in two years. That was a disaster. Then I cheated. That was a disaster. But
it woke me up to a million different things all at the same time. More than
that, it woke him up. We had the best sex we had ever had when I told him about
that one-night affair. He was claiming me. We also changed our therapist. After
one session with the new one, Nic’s whole attitude to sex was different. Six
sessions later and we were having fun sex at least once a week. (Lesson: Choose
the right therapist!)
change happened when we opened our marriage and I had my first longish term
poly play-partner. As part of the negotiations for me to have a relationship
with him, I had to share some basic information. Not much, just enough to give
him an idea of what I would be doing with another man. The information I shared
with him, and the resulting communication about how much kinks turned me on, changed
everything. Nic and I had sex four times last week! He even spanked me to the
point of orgasm. After ten years the sex is better than ever and we are
enjoying each other in the physical as well as emotional, social, and spiritual
sense. I’m glad we waited to have sex, because if we hadn’t I might have had a
lot of fantastic sex but I would have missed out on having ten years with my
wonderful man. May there be many more!